Am I sarcastic enough?

Objective: Are you mean and sarcastic? Have you ever answered people ‘meanly’ and sarcastically? If yes, show us how mean and sarcastic you are! If no, then you should try at least once in your life with this note.

Rule: Respond to these as sarcastic/mean as you could. (YR stands for Your Response.)

If an annoying person says:
1) I am cute.
YR: I also cute what..

2) I am the most beautiful/handsome.
YR: It won’t last long.

3) See, everyone likes me because I am rich and famous!
YR: Are you sure everyone likes you? They only like your money.

4) Unlike you, I am perfectly multi-skilled. I do everything very well from sports to academic thingy.
YR: Wow. You’re cool. Why are you telling me this?

5) You don’t know me? I am Bruneian artist; I have albums.
YR: Owh. You come from Brunei. I also have lots of photo albums!

If an annoying hot woman/man says:
1) I know you like me.
YR: I’m sorry. I’m too good for you.

2) What are you looking at? I am not interested in you!
YR: I’m looking at the stain on your dress. Nasty!

3) Sorry, you are nice but seriously not my type!
YR: Its OK. You are not my type either.

4) UNLESS you are rich, then don’t dream that I will get a ride with you!
YR: There’s no way people like you can ride with my Ferrari. 😛

5) Look, I am pretty/handsome; I can make people hate you!
YR: Hate you too.

If an annoying extremely ugly woman/man says:
1) I think you and I can make a good couple.
YR: Yes, in the next life.

2) May I have your cell phone? Please please please?
YR: (Phone ringing and walk away)

3) Hi, wanna hang out? I want you to be with me the whole night.
YR: I don’t hang out at night. Maybe next time.

4) What do you like about me?
YR: I don’t like you at all.

5) I want you to say that I am pretty/handsome and you like me sooooo much!
YR: Honestly, I don’t wanna lie.

If your enemy says:
1) Hi bitch!
YR: (Just ignore and look elsewhere)

2) You smell like shit!
YR: Your nose is really good in smelling shit

3) What an ugly creature you are!
YR: Say that again and look into the mirror.

4) I am going to kick your ass in this race for sure!
YR: I’ll kick yours too.

If your annoying ex says:
1) I still love you…
YR: Yes. I love you once.

2) I know you still love me!
YR: How do you know I don’t love you anymore?

3) Please, go back with me honey/hubby.
YR: I’m the one who dumped you OK?

4) Please call me…
YR: Call you what? What’s your name?

5) The break up hurt me so much.
YR: I’m sorry. I was confused why we begins.

If an annoying salesperson says:
1) Wow! You are so pretty/handsome!
YR: How many times have you repeated this line?

2) Seriously, I used this product and I’ve changed!
YR: I don’t see any changes

3) We are giving a discount up to 50%!
YR: Why don’t you give me for free!

4) This one is good sir/madam. Buy sir/madam, buy.
YR: Let me try first and I’ll decide later.

OK. That’s all. Thanks to Nani-chan for tagging me. I’m not that mean/sarcastic in writing, not on my blog. But most of my friend knows how sarcastic I am with my spoken words. Since its Ramadhan, I’ll try to reduce saying nonsensical and heart-aching speech. I don’t want to lost my fasting deeds anyway.